This is all a little transfusing

 

“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.” - Napolean Bonaparte

It has been a week of ups and downs. Mom is still achingly, overwhelmingly tired. Some days it is very hard for her to even get out of bed. The doctors determined when she went in for chemo on Wednesday that her iron levels were too low. They decided against an injection because they needed the iron levels to replenish quickly - the shot wouldn't cut it. They booked Mom in for a blood transfusion this morning (Thursday). To be clear - this is not anemia. Mom's iron is low because the chemo is killing good and bad cells. Two bags of blood were transfused over five hours. Mom says she plans on being quite "frisky" (her word, not mine) by Saturday.

Between chemo and the blood transfusion, Mom has spent the last couple days cooped up in the hospital (with her little trooper Bri for company), so she is quite looking forward to wearing pajama pants and curling up in front of her fireplace all day tomorrow. The swelling in her eyes has gone down quite a bit and she can now read, although the gel mask she has been wearing on her eyes makes her look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! (I was not permitted to take any pictures).

The swelling was concerning the doctors, so Mom went in for a CT scan. These days, we seem to prepare for the worst when it comes to getting test results, so we were not prepared for what we were told when the CT scan came back. Are you ready for this?! Not only are there no problems with Mom's eyes (the swelling is due to the drugs, and like I said, it has already started to subside with no intervention), but the spots that were on her brain have "markedly improved" and no new lesions have formed. Basically, the treatment is making a difference. The cancer in Mom's brain is getting smaller. It's a small victory, but it feels enormous! I am so proud of my Mom. She said she was going to beat this thing, and she is giving it everything she has.

It has been a little trying for Mom in that with the weather starting to warm up a bit, she is still cooped up in the house because she is just too tired to do much of anything. However, a couple good things have happened. 1) Duck Dynasty season premiered (I don't know that I have ever heard her giggle like that! Uncle Cy is a saint in my book for making my Mom so happy). 2) Mom's girlfriends have been sending cards, flowers and coming to visit. The wonderful Cec came from Texas to stay for a few days, and she kept Mom busy (with a much-enjoyed trip to Gimli, for example) while at the same time making sure she had everything she needed. Colleen, Sally, Dar and Niki make Mom's day when they come out for brunches, lunches and martinis. 3) Jason and Danielle visited Mom and made her a gourmet meal of (are you ready for this?) mini beef wellingtons, tomato watermelon salad with feta, herb and garlic rice, roasted butternut squash, vanilla butter poached asparagus with pan fried pickerel with a grapefruit berre blaunc, chocolate mousse with strawberries and balsamic vinegar. Woo! Mom hasn't been eating a lot because the chemo drugs make everything taste salty. Jason and Danielle did their research and prepared foods that counteracted the salty taste. Mom really enjoyed it and ate more than she has in a long time. Mom is very lucky to have two amazing chefs in the family. Scott and Jason are helping us find foods that Mom can enjoy eating.

Another thing that has been keeping Mom somewhat occupied is helping me prepare for my wedding! That's right, folks. You can all close your mouths now. Sean and I got engaged last month. Mom knew about the whole thing and didn't breathe a word. Sean asked her for her blessing, and now we are planning an intimate fall wedding at her place on the lake.

So, with everything that has been going on with Mom's journey to wellness, it has been a little confusing (or "transfusing," if you will). One minute we're getting good news about CT scans, the next we're hearing that the injection won't work and a transfusion is necessary, but what we have to remind ourselves is that this is working like it is supposed to. Mom is fighting everyday to get well. And that would make anyone tired.

 

Good news and birthday candles

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’” - Mary Anne Radmacher

It has been a busy few weeks for Mom. Chemo treatments have fallen into a steady routine. As routine as chemo can be, anyway. Mom loves the nurses in the Selkirk chemo ward - they are friendly, helpful and compassionate. Besides chemo, Mom has had visits from friends and her Aunt Bea was in from Vancouver visiting for a few days. Many games of Scrabble were had!

Mom also had a surgery in early February. She got a port put in her chest to speed up the process of getting blood drawn and chemo drugs put in. When she was explaining it to a couple friends, she laughed and said, "Now they can just plug me in." She recovered well from the surgery and now chemo days go much faster.

The chemo doctors requested a meeting with Mom to touch base about her treatment, so she went to the Selkirk Hospital where she was able to link up for a video conference with her doctors in Winnipeg. It really is a great way to keep everyone connected without Mom having to travel far to do so. Her chemo doctor was very interested in how she was finding her reactions to the chemo drugs after two full cycles. Other than being extremely tired and food tasting terrible, she has been experiencing very little side effects. The doctor said, "The chemo seems to be working and you seem to be doing very well." The three of us went silent and then all broke out in smiles.

Cancer doctors are very good at what they do, but they are also very hesitant about offering too much hope. Any news is always couched in terms of "but we have to see" or "while that looks good, we'll need to check so-and-so to be sure" or "it could mean nothing." There was no qualifier here. He simply said, it "seems to be working." Now, we know that is far from meaning she is in the clear, but it is the first real good news we have received, and we grabbed on to it and enjoyed it! Mom is responding to the chemo, and that is good news. Her lump on her neck has pretty much disappeared and her breathlessness is improving.

While the chemo has been kicking ass and taking names, it has also wreaked havoc on Mom's body. Her iron levels are extremely low, to the point that the doctor is a bit concerned. This means she will most likely have to get an injection and, if that doesn't work, a blood transfusion. We asked if there was anything we could do to help bring up her iron levels (Sean bbq's a mean steak), but the doctor explained it like this: "You can have all the raw materials in the world, but it doesn't matter if the factory is closed." So, Mom is not producing the iron like she should; her body needs a little help. I'm hoping it doesn't get to the point of needing a blood transfusion, but I have myself booked in for an appointment to give blood, just in case! We can all do our part - Canadian Blood Services always needs more donations.

The third cycle of chemo starts in a few days, and Mom's blood is always checked before the chemo is administered, so we should know then what her iron levels look like. In the meantime, she is resting and trying not to get too frustrated with sitting still. She has been fairly entertained in the last little while. Bri-Anne's birthday is coming up quickly, and as is Bri-Anne's tradition, her birthday celebration is a week-long event known as Briannapalooza. It started this weekend with a get-together at Mom's house, with Bri's favourite dinner (spaghetti), presents and cake. It was a blast. Mom was laughing so hard she was crying. Here are a couple of pictures:

Smooch!

Who's the photo bomber in the back?!

Can't have Briannapalooza without a Bri-Anne!

It was great to have a recharge before Mom starts the next cycle of chemo. Cancer is powerful. It can do a lot of things, but since Mom is so positive about everything and refuses to let cancer control her life, I thought it would be appropriate to share a list we came across of things cancer CANNOT do.

• it cannot cripple love
• it cannot shatter hope
• it cannot corrode faith
• it cannot destroy peace
• it cannot kill friendships
• it cannot suppress memories
• it cannot silence courage
• it cannot invade the soul
• it cannot steal eternal life
• it cannot conquer the spirit

As a parting thought, giving blood can save a life and help sustain those in need of healthy blood to continue to fight diseases such as cancer. If you are interested in donating blood, you can call 1-888-2-DONATE or visit www.blood.ca.

So ... there's this thing called chemo

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think" - Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

The holidays were a really nice break - no radiation, no trips to the hospital, no tests, no needles, no intrustive questions. However, Mom was quite anxious to get back at it once the holidays were over, and she didn't have to wait long.

She met with the medical oncologist (chemo doctor) on January 3. To be completely honest, there was some trepidation about this appointment, as we had not met with any of the chemo doctors before, and there is always some worry about what new news new doctors will come with. Also, most of the questions we came up with after the diagnosis were for this appointment to be answered by this doctor and his fellow.

At Cancer Care, everyone is very caring, and I'm sure there is a reason they make you go through things several times, but when you are anxious, it can be a bit trying. Mom had to answer questions and listen to a spiel from three different medical personnel that day, but she was patient and attentive, even though I could sense a bit of unease.

We had a million questions, but the most pressing for Mom was if she could have her chemo at a hospital closer to home, and thankfully, she could. After getting that answer, Mom was ready to hear the rest of what the doctors had to say. And there was a lot they had to say.

To boil it down to the nitty-gritty: Mom's condition is not curable, meaning that the cancer she has will never completely go away. However, and this is a big however, the whole point of the chemo is to get the cancer down to a manageable size so that it is not impacting Mom's daily life in a substantial way, and there is always the hope - obviously a big hope on our part - that the cancer will go into remission.

Mom is receiving two drugs in her "chemo cocktail" - a "C" drug and a "G" drug. We were given a lot of information about those drugs, but the bottom line is that these drugs were chosen specifically for Mom and her type and stage of cancer.

Chemo started on January 9. It takes quite a while to administer the medication, so thank goodness Mom is a pro with her iPad! She keeps herself busy. She finds that after the chemo she is quite tired, so she goes straight from the hospital home to her chair for a nap. She has now finished her first cycle of chemo. She starts her next one in 3 weeks. So between now and then, she has to keep her strength up, and go for some more scans, tests and other sundry appointments.

She had the most pleasant surprise today when she showed up for the last chemo appointment of Cycle 1 - a balloon bouquet in the chemo room from her dear friends.

What a nice surprise when I walked into the chemo room!

Floor-to-ceiling love, courtesy of the best friends a girl could have

 

The bright balloons waiting for her at the hospital made Mom's day. It brought colour into a dreary day and love into a difficult place. You couldn't ask for better friends!

 

The purpose of this blog is to keep everyone informed, so I feel it is important to note that Mom's life is not consumed by cancer. Far from it, in fact. She "fiddle-dee-dee'd" the notion that she would miss the world premiere of Gone With the Wind at the Royal Manitoba Theatre Centre. She was front and centre to see Scarlett O'Hara take the stage. Her smile was radiant, and her and Colleen could be heard giggling and saying the lines along with Scarlett, their favourite heroine.

 

The Gone With the Wind gang at MTC

 

More appointments await, as well as more updates from Mom's team of doctors. This blog will be updated fast and furious in the days to come. Thank you all for your thoughtful messages to Mom. It truly puts a smile on her face everytime someone leaves her a post or an email.

A shout out needs to be given to the Seel cousins as well as Pam and Wade for stocking Mom's freezer after the post about soup. Mom has been thoroughly enjoying all the tasty treats you so kindly made for her. Every time she heats up one of these packaged-with-love dinners, she is reminded how treasured she is.

Keep well.

Soup is Good for the Soul

 

"Only the pure of heart can make a good soup" - Ludwig van Beethoven

We all know that when we're not feeling well, there's nothing for us but some good soup. Well, Mom has been craving soup lately. Two of her favourite guys came through for her.

Sean making a hearty French Canadian pea soup

Ted making a delicious turkey and cabbage concoction

Mom's freezer is now stocked with individual servings of both soups so that she can easily heat up a healthy, hearty meal.

It should be noted that Mom took both these photos with her new iPad! She has embraced technology and is texting like a madwoman, polishing off ebooks and filling up her camera roll. One of Mom's closest friends told her that, at times, the iPad can make one feel closer than a phone call - photos are easily shared and you can go back and reread emails and other messages to feel the positive sentiments and well wishes all over again. Mom seems to have taken that to heart.

Mom has picked up a couple great recipe books from Cancer Care, but she has requested that you send along any yummy soup recipes that you have. You can post recipes in the comment section of this blog and share with everyone, or you can email recipes to beatthisthing@gmail.com. Or, if you're feeling extra generous, care packages are always appreciated :)

We've decided to keep New Year's a rather intimate affair this year, as Mom is just too tired to have a great big group or to feel like she has to be a hostess. We'll keep it simple, and enjoy lounging in our pajamas eating treats and listening to music. Farewell, 2012 and hello, 2013 - the year of wellness.

The photo album has been added to the blog. If you look on the right-hand menu, below Mom's bio, there is a slideshow. You probably won't be able to see it if you have an iPhone, as it is in Flash. However, if you click on the space under the heading "Photo Album," you will be taken to the actual album that you can click through. Now that this is up and running, I hope to be adding photos to it fast and furious. Please keep checking it and please send me some photos to post - I will get them up as fast as I can. (Darlene, can you please send your email address to beatthisthing@gmail.com, as I have a photo to request of you!).

Happy New Year, and may 2013 bring us all health and happiness!

Christmas in Pelican Bay

 "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

What a wonderful Christmas! Visits with family and friends were enjoyed, two little Christmas miracles filled Mom with joy, the turkey was not ruined and Mom joined the 21st century with a special gift from Santa ... but let's start at the beginning.

Mom finished her radiation treatments on Friday, December 21, 2012. I was able to go into the room with her for her last appointment and see what the experience was like. The technicians at Cancer Care were amazing. What I really appreciated was how they explained to me what was happening. They always referred to her as my Mom, never as "the patient" or anything impersonal. It made me feel good that they recognized this was my Mom, the woman who gave me life, the woman who has protected me and cherished me, the woman who has always put her children before herself, the woman who taught me about all the good in the world. They recognized this was not just another person on the table. This was my Mom. I really appreciated that.

It was hard seeing my Mom alone in that room with the big machine. She was a trooper, though! When she was asked if she wanted to keep the mask she wore to make sure the radiation hit the right spots, she, without hesitation, said yes. She has now decided that she is going to make the mask her wig stand! She seriously never ceases to amaze me.

The mask made the trip back to Pelican Bay with Mom, and unfortunately, so did some headaches. But her anti-swelling medication has been upped again so the headaches seem to have subsided. She is not sleeping as well as she was, and finds that she can't really sleep laying down right now. Hopefully that will change when the swelling from the radiation subsides.

As we knew it would, Mom's hair has started to fall out. But, thanks to Nana, Mom was able to sport a Mrs. Claus hat throughout the holidays, which made her very comfortable with all the company.

As usual, Mom is facing everything with courage and dignity. She is not letting this faze her and says it is all part of getting better. I think many people would be defined by what is happening to their body and the all-consuming effects it has on life, but not Mom. She is not letting cancer define her in any way. She is trying to keep her life as normal as possible while still realizing some of the limitations she faces physically.

Christmas was a great distraction from all the appointments and seriousness of late. On Christmas Eve, Mom held her traditional fete, and the house was packed. It was so great to see everyone! Mom really enjoyed the great company.

On Christmas morning, Mom found out about two little miracles - Kai and Keenan, her twin great-nephews, who were born well before they were due in the waning hours of Christmas Eve. Tears of joy were shed while Mom marvelled at the wonderful news that babies and everyone were doing well.

As "The Big Rip" commenced, Mom was able to watch us all - Sean, Scott, Bri and me - open our presents from her. Not surprisingly, she hit the nail on the head with every one of us. We all received the perfect gifts. Mom received an iPad! We wanted her to have an easy way to check her emails and this blog, as she is getting a lot of strength from all the messages people are sending. We were a little concerned that she would take a while to warm up to the iPad, but we were mistaken! Before we knew it, she had texted a couple people and shot off an email. Her blog is bookmarked, and she is checking comments regularly!

When we were done opening presents, Bri and I started on the turkey, under strict supervision, of course.

Turkey toilers in training

We struggled a bit, I have to admit. Bri gagged as she pulled off some remaining pinfeathers, and I couldn't touch the turkey with my bare hands, so I used Mom's oven mitts.

We didn't realize we'd have to touch it :(

Eventually, we got it ready to go in the oven, and it turned out pretty darn good, if I do say so myself!

Ready to go in the oven!

Looks good enough to eat

A good time was had by all, including Mom's beloved cat Mama, who is taking very good care of Mom and providing lots of purrs and cuddles.

I am fully aware of how cute I look

Mom is pretty tired after all the festivities, but is looking forward to saying farewell to 2012 and kicking butt in 2013. She has an appointment with her medical oncologist on January 3, 2013, to get going on chemo. While she enjoyed the break from treatment these past couple of days, she is also looking forward to keeping the fight going and getting started on chemo.

Please continue to send your wishes through this blog or through email. Your words are giving Mom lots of inspiration.

Happy Holidays!