Did you just smile?

 

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will" - Mahatma Gandhi

 

We sat and waited for quite some time in CancerCare today. When Mom's radiology doctor walked into the room, Mom, Bri and me all held our breath. We really had no idea what to expect when the doctors cancelled the video conference with us and asked to see Mom in person. This particular doctor has a very sad face (Mom calls it "dour"). He never looks like he is going to give us good news. In fact, he was the doctor who told us at the beginning, "Mrs. Seel, you are in a very difficult situation" - the words that have stuck with me during this whole process. Suffice it to say, I was pretty nervous. However, Mom and Bri both said they feel good when they see the doctors. Mom said it is affirming.

The doctor asked how Mom was doing. She outlined her concerns, namely her tiredness and the swelling around her eyes, but stated that otherwise she was doing well. He examined her. Mom pointed out to him that the lump on her neck is gone. He just nodded despite Mom's obvious excitement and megawatt smile when she said it. He finished his exam and sat down. Then the unbelievable happened. What we have been hoping and praying for happened. He said, "This is quite remarkable. You are responding very well to the treatment. Yes, quite remarkable." And ... drumroll please ... HE SMILED! That is the best smile I think I've ever seen in my life.

He wants to hold off on any radiation until Mom finishes up two more rounds of chemo. After her chemo, she'll get more tests (in about six weeks) and then he will decide what the best course of action is from there.

After the doctor left, Bri and I rushed into Mom's arms (and okay, there were a few tears shed ... by me). We know the battle is far from over, but Mom is having more success than the doctors were expecting. And, quite frankly, we'll take a victory where we can get one.

My little sister has surprised me throughout this process. I admire how she keeps me and Mom clear on what is happening and how she calms our nerves and keeps us hopeful. I remember a conversation Bri and I had when this all started and we were getting nothing but bad and worse news. Bri and I realized that we would rather it be that way. Let's get all the bad news at the beginning, so all the good news will come later on. We are getting good news. Finally!

Next, the medical oncologist came in to see Mom. This is the chemo doctor. He was also extremely pleased that Mom was doing so well. However, he is a bit concerned about the swelling in her eyes and with the fact that she has already needed two blood transfusions. He has decided to put her on a drug that is injected once a week that will help keep her blood levels up. The plan is that this will give her the strength and the levels she needs to have her last two rounds of chemo. So, Mom begins her next round of chemo next week, and with the success she has had this far, she can hardly wait to keep going.

Between the two doctors, we received quite a bit of information today. It boils down to this: the cancer is shrinking. Mom's brain still has some small spots, but the only other place they are seeing the cancer anymore is in her chest, where it all started, and that is getting smaller, too.

Mom has been feeling so very tired for so long, but now she is seeing that her fight is paying off. This thing isn't beaten yet, but Mom has it running.

I firmly believe that miracles happen, but until today, I hadn't witnessed one. When I saw the smile on that doctor's face, matched by the smile lighting up Mom's face, I knew I had been witness to something spectacular, something outside of us. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for keeping Mom in your prayers. I beg you not to stop because, friends, it is working!

Love to all.