The Service

Mom's service will be held on Saturday, August 24, 2013, at 10 am at Charleswood United Church. A reception will follow at the church, with internment at Thompson in the Park afterward.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Cancer Care Manitoba in Mom's name.

Bri and I are amazed by the outpouring of love and support from family and Mom's near and dear friends.

Thank you all.

The fight is over

Laurie passed away on August 16, 2013. Another post will follow when Bri and I are strong enough.

Mom is in the hospital

Mom has taken a turn. She is now in the hospital resting comfortably. Her liver is causing a lot of problems. She is in and out of sleep and we are doing our best to keep her pain free and comfortable.

It is not good. We ask that you light a candle, say a prayer or do something that will send strength Mom's way. I think it will give her some peace to know everyone's thoughts are with her.

Thank you,
Tara and Bri-Anne

Down ... but not out

You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated” - Maya Angelou

Today was a hard day. We saw both the radiation oncologist and the medical oncologist at Cancer Care. Mom had gone for a scan earlier in the week, and today was results day. It was not what we were hoping to hear.

The cancer has spread to Mom's liver. The spots are small, but there are several of them. Also, the lymph nodes around her neck (where the original lump was) are inflamed, and there is cancer there, too.

The problems with her liver answer a lot of our questions. Mom's appetite has been non-existent for several weeks, and when she has been able to eat, she had trouble keeping it down. The nausea has been constant, and the weakness has been an albatross. Mom has been quite listless and very weak. The doctors say this all makes sense because her liver is affected by the cancer. Her liver is swollen and is pressing on her stomach, so that explains her lack of appetite. Her exhaustion and weakness is explained by the liver not working properly at filtering everything out.

So that is the situation. The radiation oncologist has said that he has done all he can do. Radiation can't be done on the liver; it is far too sensitive. However, the fact that it is so sensitive works in our favour when it comes to chemo. The medical oncologist (chemo doctor) says that the liver is quite responsive to treatment, and he is getting Mom started right away. This round of chemo will be different than the last rounds she endured. She will receive a shot every three weeks. We don't know yet for how long. She is also being started on a different vitamin regimen and on steroids, which should help the nausea and the exhaustion. The doctor is hoping this will encourage her appetite and she will be able to eat, as she needs all the strength she can get. She is fully prepared to look like Roz from Monster's Inc. again once the steroids kick in! The nausea will add to the total look this time around because she will be a little green!

Those are the facts. And they aren't pretty. But they're not hopeless, either. Mom looked at me and Bri when the doctor left and said, "I'm down, but I'm not out." Even though she is having trouble walking and is even uncomfortable when sitting straight up in a chair, she is looking at this as a set back. We have already procured all her supplies, so she will be ahead of the game on her steroids and vitamins when it is time to start the chemo, which should be in a week or so.

The wonderful Auntie Dee has come to stay with Mom for the weekend to help her get used to this new regimen and just to enjoy her company. She arrived in town from Toronto as we were in with the doctors. She came to the hospital. Mom was quite happy to see a smiling, loving face.

This weekend Mom will have lots of smiling, loving faces around her. Family and friends are descending for the annual "Survivor" weekend at Pelican Bay. It will be toned down quite a bit this year, and the venue has moved down the street about 32 steps so Mom can have some peace and quiet when she wants it. However, she will have no shortage of company, and I'm sure there will be some great memories made!



Survivor Fire at Mom's place!!!

I know after reading this, many of you will be worried and want to reach out to Mom. Please don't be afraid to do so. She doesn't answer the phone if she is too tired to talk, but feel free to call and leave a message. She loves getting them. Also, she is quite an iPad aficionado, so please feel free to text her or send her an email. She truly loves to hear from all of you.

Hugs.

A theatrical interlude ... and then back to business

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you” - Walt Whitman

Mom has been out and about. The theatre bug in her couldn't resist going to the comedy Girls Only at MTC Warehouse Theatre. She went with her friends and sat in the front row. They laughed as the actors talked about childhood, aging and, well, just being a girl.


Sally, Niki, Mom and Darlene at Girls Only. What a great show! What great friends! And did you notice the sylin' hair?

As the women on stage made crafts out of surplus sanitary supplies and then performed the "pantyhose ballet" (my personal favourite), Mom was laughing so hard she was crying. It was a night out that let her forget, for a moment, that she has not been feeling so great.

Another night out was my wedding social. Mom looked like a million bucks and had a great time catching up with everyone.

Jane, Grandma Ruthie, Peggy, Mugga, Darlene and Lynda catch up with the Mother of the Bride

While Mom has been enjoying her time out, she has been struggling a lot with her lack of energy. Just recently, she has started to battle increasing nausea. When she finished the last round of radiation on her chest (10 treatments), she found her appetite increasing as well as her energy levels. Then, about a week later, everything seemed to bottom out. While her appetite is still there, it is hard for her to eat because of the nausea. She is finding her energy levels at an all-time low.

She went for blood work a week ago, and we were half expecting that she would need another blood transfusion, but unfortunately, the blood work showed something a little more concerning. The enzyme levels showing in Mom's liver are concerning the doctor, along with the couple of small spots that were noted on the last scan she had. The doctor has ordered another scan to get more information about what is going on. However, he thinks that Mom's lack of energy could very well be related to what is happening with her liver.

The doctor did say that it is not uncommon for these levels to be elevated as a reaction to chemo, so that could very well be the case here, but with the spots present also, the doctor has decided we need more information sooner rather than later. That scan will happen next week. Then the following week, Mom is scheduled for chest x-rays and a follow-up with the radiation oncologist to see how well the last round of radiation worked. The doctors are also encouraging Mom to keep eating, as she is losing quite a bit of weight.

It has been a bit emotional the last couple of days, as Mom had been doing so well and then this news. She feels a bit deflated, but she is also anxious to find out what, exactly, is happening so the course of treatment can be decided. She also wants to find a way to battle the nausea and fatigue.

As the quote above says, Mom is keeping her face to the sunshine. She always sees the bright side, even when she is struggling. She knows her body is fighting hard to heal, and she also knows there will be some bumpy spots along this road. This is one hell of a bump.

We will keep you posted when we have some results. In the meantime, please keep Mom close to your hearts and in your prayers.

Hugs.

Who are you calling a success story?!

"Your body hears everything your mind says" - Naomi Judd

It has been a very anxious few days as we waited to hear the results of Mom's latest scans. With her feeling so weak lately, there was some concern that maybe the news would not be what we so desperately wanted to hear.

As we sat in the hospital room waiting for the doctor, we talked and tried to pretend everything was normal ... but it wasn't. Our lives haven't been normal in quite some time. When the doctor joined us, he started off by apologizing for running a bit behind schedule, saying that there had been some catastrophes he had to deal with. Mom's eyes got really big, and she said, "I hope I'm not one of them!" He smiled at her and said, "No! You are one of our success stories!"

Mom, Bri, and I all let out a collective breath we didn't realize we had been holding. He began to give us the results of the scan: everything was looking good. Some spots in the brain remain, but they are quite small, and there are no new ones. The neck looks clear. The spots in the lungs have gotten smaller. All of this was great news. However, a shadow on Mom's liver showed up on the scans. The doctor was not overly concerned, saying it could be a number of things and that another test will be needed for follow-up. When we inquired further about it, he tried to alleviate our worry and said we really won't know anything further until after the test. He also pointed out that Mom previously had spots on her adrenal gland (that we knew nothing about) that have since disappeared. The body is a marvelous thing!

While this news set us back for a minute, we realized after the meeting that the doctor's focus was on the lungs and on arranging the next step of treatment. We're taking this as a good thing.

Radiation is the most likely next step. Mom has responded really well to chemo, and it seems that the cancer has shrunk to a size that it can be targeted with radiation. However, we won't know the exact plan until our next meeting at the beginning of June.

Mom had more blood taken to see if she needed another transfusion, but her levels were good, so it seems the tiredness is still the effects of the chemo. We're hoping that will subside in the weeks to come.

As an aside, I feel like I have given you the facts in the paragraphs above, but I'd like to take a moment to try and explain to you what the feelings are like. I bet some of you reading this are thinking, "What do you mean you're not worried about a spot on the liver?" I get it. I would have thought that myself a few months ago. Here's the thing. We have to live for small victories right now. When we first got the diagnosis, the doctors were not very positive. Mom has fought like an alley cat and has surprised these experts. The lump in her neck disappeared. Her spots are shrinking. When the doctor says a shadow on a scan could be any number of things that are not cancer-related, we hang on to that. We have to. Mom's victories together have been monumental, but we can't think big picture right now. We think moment-to-moment because that is what is manageable.

The doctor said Mom is a success story. That is what counts. That is what will get us through the next stage of Mom's journey to wellness. She is a success story. She is a warrior. She is tough as nails. I know a lot of you had Mom in your thoughts the last few days and were sending positive energy her way. It was felt! All of us really appreciated the support. We took you all with us into that meeting. Thank you!

Hugs

So long, chemo!

 

“Hope is the thing with feathers – that perches in the soul – And sings the tunes without the words – And never stops at all” – Emily Dickinson

Mom is done chemo! Well, for now anyway. There was a slight hiccup when she went in for her final round. Her levels were slightly low, so she needed another blood transfusion to top her up. Chemo was put on hold for a week while Mom's levels improved after the transfusion. She successfully finished her last prescribed round.

Chemo was a trial. It really tired Mom out. The salt taste stayed with her throughout her chemo, which made her appetite suffer. Also, the swelling she experienced around her eyes remained, but it did start to disappear near the end of treatment.

I think what is really starting to get to Mom is the fact that she always needs to be doing something with the cancer - either going to treatment, or fighting her chemo-taste buds, or dealing with extreme exhaustion. The illness does become all-consuming, as everything she does is affected by it.

There are a couple things Mom is doing to try and focus on something other than cancer. Now that it is nice out, she is able to putter around her yard. She gathered some wood in her yard. A couple wheelbarrows full took her more than two hours, but she did it! She was so proud of herself. As well, she is able to wander down to the water, which she is now doing frequently because she spotted a crows nest high atop one of her many trees. Unfortunately, the crows are scaring away many of Mom's tiny woodland creatures (Chippy has not yet made an appearance, the Purple Martins have moved out of the condo, and the Bunny family has moved house). However, a pair of woodland ducks has toughed it out, and Mom has been able to get some wonderful photos of her feathered friends.

Bri and I are kept up-to-date on all the happenings with the woodland creatures (on an hour-by-hour basis), and with her new obsession, we have decided that Mom is starting to resemble Snow White!

Another thing that is keeping Mom's mind off the Big C is her amazing friends - human and animal alike. She had a special visit from a large group of girls, all of whom she went to high school with! She so enjoyed the visit.

It's not 1973 anymore!

 Mom had another visit from a very special friend from way back. Cathy Kelly came out to spend the afternoon. Many laughs were had. Mom makes the very best of friends. She is incredibly lucky.

Mom and Cathy Kelly catching up

There was one visit, though, that had Mom in tears. Uncle Randy (Herner) wanted to surprise Mom and pick up her beloved Piper (the lab with a heart of gold mentioned in previous blog post) and bring him for a visit. Mom and Piper had not seen each other in about 6 years. Before Piper moved away, however, they spent every weekend together. The lovely and wonderful Alexanders (Cindy and Gary) let Uncle Randy pick up Piper. I was at Mom's to catch the visit on camera. Mom was thrilled when she saw Uncle Randy pull up. She was quite looking forward to a visit. When Uncle Randy opened the door and Piper - old, gray, and a little bit deaf - ran through the door and rested his body right against Mom's legs, she burst out sobbing.

     

An old friend come for a visit! Piper has bad hips, is going quite grey and has trouble hearing, but he knew Mom, and he was beside himself when she started petting him. Piper is a special soul. His visit, arranged by Uncle Randy and the Alexanders, had Mom smiling for days. It was hard to get a good picture because they were both so happy to see each other that they couldn't stay still!

For those of you who know Mom well, she is not much of a crier. But tears were streaming down her face as she bent over to pet her trusted old friend. Piper's tail was wagging so hard it nearly knocked both of them over. After a quick detour to eat the cat food, Piper was by Mom's side, resting his head in her lap. He gave me some loving, too, but he only had eyes for Mom.

Uncle Randy's kindness in picking up Piper for a visit and the Alexanders awareness that Piper, although their dog, has touched so many lives is amazing. Thank you so very much to all of them for their thoughtfulness and caring. Hugs to you!

Mom's visits have rejuvenated her, and she'll need it. She goes in for her CT scan this week. The doctors are scanning her head, neck, chest, and abdomen. We will get the results next week during a meeting with the doctors. At that time, the doctors will advise as to the next course of treatment, and Mom will continue on this journey to wellness. We all hope that the doctors will once again be surprised and pleased with Mom's progress.

We will keep you posted, and I do promise that the entries will not be so far apart from now on. Many of you have shared that you appreciate being kept up-to-date on these pages, so we will make sure there is news here for you to read.

Please keep Mom in your hearts and in your prayers as she undergoes this next round of testing. Your support has helped Mom work miracles already, so let's keep it going!

Did you just smile?

 

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will" - Mahatma Gandhi

 

We sat and waited for quite some time in CancerCare today. When Mom's radiology doctor walked into the room, Mom, Bri and me all held our breath. We really had no idea what to expect when the doctors cancelled the video conference with us and asked to see Mom in person. This particular doctor has a very sad face (Mom calls it "dour"). He never looks like he is going to give us good news. In fact, he was the doctor who told us at the beginning, "Mrs. Seel, you are in a very difficult situation" - the words that have stuck with me during this whole process. Suffice it to say, I was pretty nervous. However, Mom and Bri both said they feel good when they see the doctors. Mom said it is affirming.

The doctor asked how Mom was doing. She outlined her concerns, namely her tiredness and the swelling around her eyes, but stated that otherwise she was doing well. He examined her. Mom pointed out to him that the lump on her neck is gone. He just nodded despite Mom's obvious excitement and megawatt smile when she said it. He finished his exam and sat down. Then the unbelievable happened. What we have been hoping and praying for happened. He said, "This is quite remarkable. You are responding very well to the treatment. Yes, quite remarkable." And ... drumroll please ... HE SMILED! That is the best smile I think I've ever seen in my life.

He wants to hold off on any radiation until Mom finishes up two more rounds of chemo. After her chemo, she'll get more tests (in about six weeks) and then he will decide what the best course of action is from there.

After the doctor left, Bri and I rushed into Mom's arms (and okay, there were a few tears shed ... by me). We know the battle is far from over, but Mom is having more success than the doctors were expecting. And, quite frankly, we'll take a victory where we can get one.

My little sister has surprised me throughout this process. I admire how she keeps me and Mom clear on what is happening and how she calms our nerves and keeps us hopeful. I remember a conversation Bri and I had when this all started and we were getting nothing but bad and worse news. Bri and I realized that we would rather it be that way. Let's get all the bad news at the beginning, so all the good news will come later on. We are getting good news. Finally!

Next, the medical oncologist came in to see Mom. This is the chemo doctor. He was also extremely pleased that Mom was doing so well. However, he is a bit concerned about the swelling in her eyes and with the fact that she has already needed two blood transfusions. He has decided to put her on a drug that is injected once a week that will help keep her blood levels up. The plan is that this will give her the strength and the levels she needs to have her last two rounds of chemo. So, Mom begins her next round of chemo next week, and with the success she has had this far, she can hardly wait to keep going.

Between the two doctors, we received quite a bit of information today. It boils down to this: the cancer is shrinking. Mom's brain still has some small spots, but the only other place they are seeing the cancer anymore is in her chest, where it all started, and that is getting smaller, too.

Mom has been feeling so very tired for so long, but now she is seeing that her fight is paying off. This thing isn't beaten yet, but Mom has it running.

I firmly believe that miracles happen, but until today, I hadn't witnessed one. When I saw the smile on that doctor's face, matched by the smile lighting up Mom's face, I knew I had been witness to something spectacular, something outside of us. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for keeping Mom in your prayers. I beg you not to stop because, friends, it is working!

Love to all.

 



 

Calling the little white army!

 

“There are women who make things better... simply by showing up. There are women who make things happen. There are women who make their way. There are women who make a difference. And women who make us smile. There are women of wit and wisdom who- through strength and courage- make it through. There are women who change the world everyday... Women like you.” - Ashley Rice

 
Mom went to the hospital for chemo today, but she was refused her cocktail! It turns out that Mom's white blood cell count was too low and the chemo would make the situation worse. She also discovered that her iron is very low again and she needs another blood transfusion. She went back to the hospital this afternoon to get the new blood, but there was some sort of issue with antibodies, meaning that new blood had to be ordered in for her. She will be getting two bags of blood tranfused tomorrow (Thursday), which means another 6 hours of hospital time. Thank goodness Nana is going to keep her company!

Mom said her trip back to the hospital this afternoon was far from wasted, though, as she arrived at the same time as a special delivery. The Cancer Society does its daffodil drive this week, and my wonderful coworkers all pitched in to buy 30 bunches of daffodils that were delivered to the Selkirk Hospital chemo ward on behalf of Mom. What a wonderful coincidence that she was there to see them delivered! Pictures were taken and will be posted as soon as they arrive in my inbox.

Another special delivery arrived for Mom - some pictures of one of her dearest friends, Piper Alexander. Piper was always there for Mom. Before she built her beautiful home, she would go down and stay at the family cabin on the weekend, often by herself. When she arrived, Piper would come racing to help her unload the car, and he would help her carry in wood ... literally. When Mom dropped a piece of wood, Piper was right behind her to pick it up and follow her in the house with it. Often, Piper would stay for sleepovers and was a warm, snoring bundle of joy to keep Mom company. When Mom wasn't at the cabin, Piper made it his mission to watch over the place, leaving giant footsteps in the snow and "spraying" the edges of the property. Who is this wonderful, magical Piper? A wondeful dog. A true and loyal friend. His Mom sent some pictures of Piper, as he is now too old to come for many visits, but she thought seeing the photos might remind Mom how much Piper loves her, so thank you Cindy! Thank you so much! And, Piper, you are an angel.

Still as handsome as ever! Mom's friends come in all shapes and sizes (and species)!

Oh, the self-restraint! Don't you just want to smooch that nose?

We will keep you posted with Mom's progress. She is more tired than usual at the moment, but is hoping the transfusion will help with that. She told me she plans to be dancing by the weekend! Wouldn't that be a great photo?

Much love to you all.

I'm watching you, Wazowski

“With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts.” - Eleanor Roosevelt

Mom has started Cycle 4 of chemotherapy, and she, as always, is in good spirits. However, her energy is really low again and her eyes are quite swollen. The low energy is due to her low iron count, so we may be looking at another blood transfusion. This is not necessarily a bad thing. The chemo is killing cells, so it is doing what it is supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, it is killing a lot of healthy cells, too, which is what the blood transfusion will replace. I know I have been donating as much blood as they'll take from me! We figure between me and Bri and our friends, we're close to replacing what Mom is using. It's the least we can do. (For those of you who haven't donated blood before, perhaps I can convince you by telling you that you get to have sweets after and the calories don't count! Chocolate donut, here I come).

The swollen eyes is a reaction to the chemo, and Mom is now on new drops, which seem to be working in bringing the swelling down. With her amazing sense of humour, Mom says her swollen eyes make her look like Roz from Monsters, Inc. We beg to differ! (Although Mom does an amazing impression).

 

A steady stream of visitors has kept Mom company the last little while. Lisa and Judy brought the two little miracle munchkins out to see Mom. She was beside herself when she got to hold the two little boys. She fell in love instantly. They look like they didn't mind her so much, either.

 

We won't even to try to guess who is who! But there is one proud Great Auntie Laurie in the middle

Mom's dear friend Jane came out for a visit and was dragged into the St. Patrick's Day spirit.

 

 

Sean made a delicious meal for Jane's visit. He has now figured out the trick to the salty taste Mom has been experiencing, and he has made it a personal challenge to make her a wide variety of meals that allow her to enjoy her food and not feel like she's licking a block of salt.

 

At the end of Jane's visit Auntie Dee came to stay, and her and Mom have been keeping busy. First order of business was to honour the Malone Irish roots and celebrate St. Patrick's Day (thanks for the hats, Niki). They even got me involved!

 

It seems that the Prairies decided to welcome Auntie Dee home (as she now lives in Toronto) by dumping an obscene amount of snow on us! But Auntie Dee has not forgotten her Prairie-girl roots, and she trudged her way through the snow to check the septic tank.





Hmmm ... how's it look down there?

Eek! We better call Big Mike!















Mom has also been getting some exercise, as her and Nana have been walking down to feed Bri-Anne's cats - Cole and Noodle - for the past week. Even walking a few doors down is a challenge, but Mom is not letting it get the best of her. While the first couple of days were a struggle, she kept going, and now she is finding it easier to walk there and back (except after the huge dump of snow!).

 

The breathlessness is still present, and it is something that slows Mom down, but it doesn't slow her down much! She is spending lots of time with friends and family, helping me plan my wedding (she has such fantastic ideas!), kicking multiple butts at Words With Friends, babysitting her grandcats, and focusing on getting well.

 

The comments left on the blog and the emails you all send to Mom are such a source of strength for her. Thank you so much for reaching out and letting her know how much she means to all of you. So often, we don't take the time to tell someone how important they are or how they have impacted our lives. But many of you are taking the time to do that for Mom, and it means the world to her. It really makes a difference. When she has a down day, she can go back and read the many warm thoughts that are sent her way.

 

Some tests are coming up that should give us an idea of where the situation lies now, and we are all hoping for some good news. Please keep Mom in your thoughts and prayers, as you are in hers.











This is all a little transfusing

 

“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.” - Napolean Bonaparte

It has been a week of ups and downs. Mom is still achingly, overwhelmingly tired. Some days it is very hard for her to even get out of bed. The doctors determined when she went in for chemo on Wednesday that her iron levels were too low. They decided against an injection because they needed the iron levels to replenish quickly - the shot wouldn't cut it. They booked Mom in for a blood transfusion this morning (Thursday). To be clear - this is not anemia. Mom's iron is low because the chemo is killing good and bad cells. Two bags of blood were transfused over five hours. Mom says she plans on being quite "frisky" (her word, not mine) by Saturday.

Between chemo and the blood transfusion, Mom has spent the last couple days cooped up in the hospital (with her little trooper Bri for company), so she is quite looking forward to wearing pajama pants and curling up in front of her fireplace all day tomorrow. The swelling in her eyes has gone down quite a bit and she can now read, although the gel mask she has been wearing on her eyes makes her look like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle! (I was not permitted to take any pictures).

The swelling was concerning the doctors, so Mom went in for a CT scan. These days, we seem to prepare for the worst when it comes to getting test results, so we were not prepared for what we were told when the CT scan came back. Are you ready for this?! Not only are there no problems with Mom's eyes (the swelling is due to the drugs, and like I said, it has already started to subside with no intervention), but the spots that were on her brain have "markedly improved" and no new lesions have formed. Basically, the treatment is making a difference. The cancer in Mom's brain is getting smaller. It's a small victory, but it feels enormous! I am so proud of my Mom. She said she was going to beat this thing, and she is giving it everything she has.

It has been a little trying for Mom in that with the weather starting to warm up a bit, she is still cooped up in the house because she is just too tired to do much of anything. However, a couple good things have happened. 1) Duck Dynasty season premiered (I don't know that I have ever heard her giggle like that! Uncle Cy is a saint in my book for making my Mom so happy). 2) Mom's girlfriends have been sending cards, flowers and coming to visit. The wonderful Cec came from Texas to stay for a few days, and she kept Mom busy (with a much-enjoyed trip to Gimli, for example) while at the same time making sure she had everything she needed. Colleen, Sally, Dar and Niki make Mom's day when they come out for brunches, lunches and martinis. 3) Jason and Danielle visited Mom and made her a gourmet meal of (are you ready for this?) mini beef wellingtons, tomato watermelon salad with feta, herb and garlic rice, roasted butternut squash, vanilla butter poached asparagus with pan fried pickerel with a grapefruit berre blaunc, chocolate mousse with strawberries and balsamic vinegar. Woo! Mom hasn't been eating a lot because the chemo drugs make everything taste salty. Jason and Danielle did their research and prepared foods that counteracted the salty taste. Mom really enjoyed it and ate more than she has in a long time. Mom is very lucky to have two amazing chefs in the family. Scott and Jason are helping us find foods that Mom can enjoy eating.

Another thing that has been keeping Mom somewhat occupied is helping me prepare for my wedding! That's right, folks. You can all close your mouths now. Sean and I got engaged last month. Mom knew about the whole thing and didn't breathe a word. Sean asked her for her blessing, and now we are planning an intimate fall wedding at her place on the lake.

So, with everything that has been going on with Mom's journey to wellness, it has been a little confusing (or "transfusing," if you will). One minute we're getting good news about CT scans, the next we're hearing that the injection won't work and a transfusion is necessary, but what we have to remind ourselves is that this is working like it is supposed to. Mom is fighting everyday to get well. And that would make anyone tired.

 

Good news and birthday candles

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow’” - Mary Anne Radmacher

It has been a busy few weeks for Mom. Chemo treatments have fallen into a steady routine. As routine as chemo can be, anyway. Mom loves the nurses in the Selkirk chemo ward - they are friendly, helpful and compassionate. Besides chemo, Mom has had visits from friends and her Aunt Bea was in from Vancouver visiting for a few days. Many games of Scrabble were had!

Mom also had a surgery in early February. She got a port put in her chest to speed up the process of getting blood drawn and chemo drugs put in. When she was explaining it to a couple friends, she laughed and said, "Now they can just plug me in." She recovered well from the surgery and now chemo days go much faster.

The chemo doctors requested a meeting with Mom to touch base about her treatment, so she went to the Selkirk Hospital where she was able to link up for a video conference with her doctors in Winnipeg. It really is a great way to keep everyone connected without Mom having to travel far to do so. Her chemo doctor was very interested in how she was finding her reactions to the chemo drugs after two full cycles. Other than being extremely tired and food tasting terrible, she has been experiencing very little side effects. The doctor said, "The chemo seems to be working and you seem to be doing very well." The three of us went silent and then all broke out in smiles.

Cancer doctors are very good at what they do, but they are also very hesitant about offering too much hope. Any news is always couched in terms of "but we have to see" or "while that looks good, we'll need to check so-and-so to be sure" or "it could mean nothing." There was no qualifier here. He simply said, it "seems to be working." Now, we know that is far from meaning she is in the clear, but it is the first real good news we have received, and we grabbed on to it and enjoyed it! Mom is responding to the chemo, and that is good news. Her lump on her neck has pretty much disappeared and her breathlessness is improving.

While the chemo has been kicking ass and taking names, it has also wreaked havoc on Mom's body. Her iron levels are extremely low, to the point that the doctor is a bit concerned. This means she will most likely have to get an injection and, if that doesn't work, a blood transfusion. We asked if there was anything we could do to help bring up her iron levels (Sean bbq's a mean steak), but the doctor explained it like this: "You can have all the raw materials in the world, but it doesn't matter if the factory is closed." So, Mom is not producing the iron like she should; her body needs a little help. I'm hoping it doesn't get to the point of needing a blood transfusion, but I have myself booked in for an appointment to give blood, just in case! We can all do our part - Canadian Blood Services always needs more donations.

The third cycle of chemo starts in a few days, and Mom's blood is always checked before the chemo is administered, so we should know then what her iron levels look like. In the meantime, she is resting and trying not to get too frustrated with sitting still. She has been fairly entertained in the last little while. Bri-Anne's birthday is coming up quickly, and as is Bri-Anne's tradition, her birthday celebration is a week-long event known as Briannapalooza. It started this weekend with a get-together at Mom's house, with Bri's favourite dinner (spaghetti), presents and cake. It was a blast. Mom was laughing so hard she was crying. Here are a couple of pictures:

Smooch!

Who's the photo bomber in the back?!

Can't have Briannapalooza without a Bri-Anne!

It was great to have a recharge before Mom starts the next cycle of chemo. Cancer is powerful. It can do a lot of things, but since Mom is so positive about everything and refuses to let cancer control her life, I thought it would be appropriate to share a list we came across of things cancer CANNOT do.

• it cannot cripple love
• it cannot shatter hope
• it cannot corrode faith
• it cannot destroy peace
• it cannot kill friendships
• it cannot suppress memories
• it cannot silence courage
• it cannot invade the soul
• it cannot steal eternal life
• it cannot conquer the spirit

As a parting thought, giving blood can save a life and help sustain those in need of healthy blood to continue to fight diseases such as cancer. If you are interested in donating blood, you can call 1-888-2-DONATE or visit www.blood.ca.

So ... there's this thing called chemo

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe and stronger than you seem and smarter than you think" - Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

The holidays were a really nice break - no radiation, no trips to the hospital, no tests, no needles, no intrustive questions. However, Mom was quite anxious to get back at it once the holidays were over, and she didn't have to wait long.

She met with the medical oncologist (chemo doctor) on January 3. To be completely honest, there was some trepidation about this appointment, as we had not met with any of the chemo doctors before, and there is always some worry about what new news new doctors will come with. Also, most of the questions we came up with after the diagnosis were for this appointment to be answered by this doctor and his fellow.

At Cancer Care, everyone is very caring, and I'm sure there is a reason they make you go through things several times, but when you are anxious, it can be a bit trying. Mom had to answer questions and listen to a spiel from three different medical personnel that day, but she was patient and attentive, even though I could sense a bit of unease.

We had a million questions, but the most pressing for Mom was if she could have her chemo at a hospital closer to home, and thankfully, she could. After getting that answer, Mom was ready to hear the rest of what the doctors had to say. And there was a lot they had to say.

To boil it down to the nitty-gritty: Mom's condition is not curable, meaning that the cancer she has will never completely go away. However, and this is a big however, the whole point of the chemo is to get the cancer down to a manageable size so that it is not impacting Mom's daily life in a substantial way, and there is always the hope - obviously a big hope on our part - that the cancer will go into remission.

Mom is receiving two drugs in her "chemo cocktail" - a "C" drug and a "G" drug. We were given a lot of information about those drugs, but the bottom line is that these drugs were chosen specifically for Mom and her type and stage of cancer.

Chemo started on January 9. It takes quite a while to administer the medication, so thank goodness Mom is a pro with her iPad! She keeps herself busy. She finds that after the chemo she is quite tired, so she goes straight from the hospital home to her chair for a nap. She has now finished her first cycle of chemo. She starts her next one in 3 weeks. So between now and then, she has to keep her strength up, and go for some more scans, tests and other sundry appointments.

She had the most pleasant surprise today when she showed up for the last chemo appointment of Cycle 1 - a balloon bouquet in the chemo room from her dear friends.

What a nice surprise when I walked into the chemo room!

Floor-to-ceiling love, courtesy of the best friends a girl could have

 

The bright balloons waiting for her at the hospital made Mom's day. It brought colour into a dreary day and love into a difficult place. You couldn't ask for better friends!

 

The purpose of this blog is to keep everyone informed, so I feel it is important to note that Mom's life is not consumed by cancer. Far from it, in fact. She "fiddle-dee-dee'd" the notion that she would miss the world premiere of Gone With the Wind at the Royal Manitoba Theatre Centre. She was front and centre to see Scarlett O'Hara take the stage. Her smile was radiant, and her and Colleen could be heard giggling and saying the lines along with Scarlett, their favourite heroine.

 

The Gone With the Wind gang at MTC

 

More appointments await, as well as more updates from Mom's team of doctors. This blog will be updated fast and furious in the days to come. Thank you all for your thoughtful messages to Mom. It truly puts a smile on her face everytime someone leaves her a post or an email.

A shout out needs to be given to the Seel cousins as well as Pam and Wade for stocking Mom's freezer after the post about soup. Mom has been thoroughly enjoying all the tasty treats you so kindly made for her. Every time she heats up one of these packaged-with-love dinners, she is reminded how treasured she is.

Keep well.