The fight is over

Laurie passed away on August 16, 2013. Another post will follow when Bri and I are strong enough.

Mom is in the hospital

Mom has taken a turn. She is now in the hospital resting comfortably. Her liver is causing a lot of problems. She is in and out of sleep and we are doing our best to keep her pain free and comfortable.

It is not good. We ask that you light a candle, say a prayer or do something that will send strength Mom's way. I think it will give her some peace to know everyone's thoughts are with her.

Thank you,
Tara and Bri-Anne

Down ... but not out

You will face many defeats in your life, but never let yourself be defeated” - Maya Angelou

Today was a hard day. We saw both the radiation oncologist and the medical oncologist at Cancer Care. Mom had gone for a scan earlier in the week, and today was results day. It was not what we were hoping to hear.

The cancer has spread to Mom's liver. The spots are small, but there are several of them. Also, the lymph nodes around her neck (where the original lump was) are inflamed, and there is cancer there, too.

The problems with her liver answer a lot of our questions. Mom's appetite has been non-existent for several weeks, and when she has been able to eat, she had trouble keeping it down. The nausea has been constant, and the weakness has been an albatross. Mom has been quite listless and very weak. The doctors say this all makes sense because her liver is affected by the cancer. Her liver is swollen and is pressing on her stomach, so that explains her lack of appetite. Her exhaustion and weakness is explained by the liver not working properly at filtering everything out.

So that is the situation. The radiation oncologist has said that he has done all he can do. Radiation can't be done on the liver; it is far too sensitive. However, the fact that it is so sensitive works in our favour when it comes to chemo. The medical oncologist (chemo doctor) says that the liver is quite responsive to treatment, and he is getting Mom started right away. This round of chemo will be different than the last rounds she endured. She will receive a shot every three weeks. We don't know yet for how long. She is also being started on a different vitamin regimen and on steroids, which should help the nausea and the exhaustion. The doctor is hoping this will encourage her appetite and she will be able to eat, as she needs all the strength she can get. She is fully prepared to look like Roz from Monster's Inc. again once the steroids kick in! The nausea will add to the total look this time around because she will be a little green!

Those are the facts. And they aren't pretty. But they're not hopeless, either. Mom looked at me and Bri when the doctor left and said, "I'm down, but I'm not out." Even though she is having trouble walking and is even uncomfortable when sitting straight up in a chair, she is looking at this as a set back. We have already procured all her supplies, so she will be ahead of the game on her steroids and vitamins when it is time to start the chemo, which should be in a week or so.

The wonderful Auntie Dee has come to stay with Mom for the weekend to help her get used to this new regimen and just to enjoy her company. She arrived in town from Toronto as we were in with the doctors. She came to the hospital. Mom was quite happy to see a smiling, loving face.

This weekend Mom will have lots of smiling, loving faces around her. Family and friends are descending for the annual "Survivor" weekend at Pelican Bay. It will be toned down quite a bit this year, and the venue has moved down the street about 32 steps so Mom can have some peace and quiet when she wants it. However, she will have no shortage of company, and I'm sure there will be some great memories made!



Survivor Fire at Mom's place!!!

I know after reading this, many of you will be worried and want to reach out to Mom. Please don't be afraid to do so. She doesn't answer the phone if she is too tired to talk, but feel free to call and leave a message. She loves getting them. Also, she is quite an iPad aficionado, so please feel free to text her or send her an email. She truly loves to hear from all of you.

Hugs.

A theatrical interlude ... and then back to business

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you” - Walt Whitman

Mom has been out and about. The theatre bug in her couldn't resist going to the comedy Girls Only at MTC Warehouse Theatre. She went with her friends and sat in the front row. They laughed as the actors talked about childhood, aging and, well, just being a girl.


Sally, Niki, Mom and Darlene at Girls Only. What a great show! What great friends! And did you notice the sylin' hair?

As the women on stage made crafts out of surplus sanitary supplies and then performed the "pantyhose ballet" (my personal favourite), Mom was laughing so hard she was crying. It was a night out that let her forget, for a moment, that she has not been feeling so great.

Another night out was my wedding social. Mom looked like a million bucks and had a great time catching up with everyone.

Jane, Grandma Ruthie, Peggy, Mugga, Darlene and Lynda catch up with the Mother of the Bride

While Mom has been enjoying her time out, she has been struggling a lot with her lack of energy. Just recently, she has started to battle increasing nausea. When she finished the last round of radiation on her chest (10 treatments), she found her appetite increasing as well as her energy levels. Then, about a week later, everything seemed to bottom out. While her appetite is still there, it is hard for her to eat because of the nausea. She is finding her energy levels at an all-time low.

She went for blood work a week ago, and we were half expecting that she would need another blood transfusion, but unfortunately, the blood work showed something a little more concerning. The enzyme levels showing in Mom's liver are concerning the doctor, along with the couple of small spots that were noted on the last scan she had. The doctor has ordered another scan to get more information about what is going on. However, he thinks that Mom's lack of energy could very well be related to what is happening with her liver.

The doctor did say that it is not uncommon for these levels to be elevated as a reaction to chemo, so that could very well be the case here, but with the spots present also, the doctor has decided we need more information sooner rather than later. That scan will happen next week. Then the following week, Mom is scheduled for chest x-rays and a follow-up with the radiation oncologist to see how well the last round of radiation worked. The doctors are also encouraging Mom to keep eating, as she is losing quite a bit of weight.

It has been a bit emotional the last couple of days, as Mom had been doing so well and then this news. She feels a bit deflated, but she is also anxious to find out what, exactly, is happening so the course of treatment can be decided. She also wants to find a way to battle the nausea and fatigue.

As the quote above says, Mom is keeping her face to the sunshine. She always sees the bright side, even when she is struggling. She knows her body is fighting hard to heal, and she also knows there will be some bumpy spots along this road. This is one hell of a bump.

We will keep you posted when we have some results. In the meantime, please keep Mom close to your hearts and in your prayers.

Hugs.

Who are you calling a success story?!

"Your body hears everything your mind says" - Naomi Judd

It has been a very anxious few days as we waited to hear the results of Mom's latest scans. With her feeling so weak lately, there was some concern that maybe the news would not be what we so desperately wanted to hear.

As we sat in the hospital room waiting for the doctor, we talked and tried to pretend everything was normal ... but it wasn't. Our lives haven't been normal in quite some time. When the doctor joined us, he started off by apologizing for running a bit behind schedule, saying that there had been some catastrophes he had to deal with. Mom's eyes got really big, and she said, "I hope I'm not one of them!" He smiled at her and said, "No! You are one of our success stories!"

Mom, Bri, and I all let out a collective breath we didn't realize we had been holding. He began to give us the results of the scan: everything was looking good. Some spots in the brain remain, but they are quite small, and there are no new ones. The neck looks clear. The spots in the lungs have gotten smaller. All of this was great news. However, a shadow on Mom's liver showed up on the scans. The doctor was not overly concerned, saying it could be a number of things and that another test will be needed for follow-up. When we inquired further about it, he tried to alleviate our worry and said we really won't know anything further until after the test. He also pointed out that Mom previously had spots on her adrenal gland (that we knew nothing about) that have since disappeared. The body is a marvelous thing!

While this news set us back for a minute, we realized after the meeting that the doctor's focus was on the lungs and on arranging the next step of treatment. We're taking this as a good thing.

Radiation is the most likely next step. Mom has responded really well to chemo, and it seems that the cancer has shrunk to a size that it can be targeted with radiation. However, we won't know the exact plan until our next meeting at the beginning of June.

Mom had more blood taken to see if she needed another transfusion, but her levels were good, so it seems the tiredness is still the effects of the chemo. We're hoping that will subside in the weeks to come.

As an aside, I feel like I have given you the facts in the paragraphs above, but I'd like to take a moment to try and explain to you what the feelings are like. I bet some of you reading this are thinking, "What do you mean you're not worried about a spot on the liver?" I get it. I would have thought that myself a few months ago. Here's the thing. We have to live for small victories right now. When we first got the diagnosis, the doctors were not very positive. Mom has fought like an alley cat and has surprised these experts. The lump in her neck disappeared. Her spots are shrinking. When the doctor says a shadow on a scan could be any number of things that are not cancer-related, we hang on to that. We have to. Mom's victories together have been monumental, but we can't think big picture right now. We think moment-to-moment because that is what is manageable.

The doctor said Mom is a success story. That is what counts. That is what will get us through the next stage of Mom's journey to wellness. She is a success story. She is a warrior. She is tough as nails. I know a lot of you had Mom in your thoughts the last few days and were sending positive energy her way. It was felt! All of us really appreciated the support. We took you all with us into that meeting. Thank you!

Hugs